Days till our first baby


39- My Thing Goes Bad

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم


Why i'm writting today?? I think that I lost myself today. Everything i do make me sick of myself. Not enough,I also make the other sick of me. I don't know why this happen. What should i do? I kept asking this question long time ago. Why this happen to me and why should it happen again and again?


When i try to be myself, someone will pull me out from that way, and put me in the way that i don't want to be. I not accuse that guy or what ever you want to call that 'someone', but I'm blaming myself because I can't be good to my own self.

I'm thinking what should i do for my best and the other, who know and being good with me. I don't want then to feel trouble when being with me. I also don't want them to think that I'll make their good mood being such an asshole.

I love the other as they love me. But I don't know how keep their feeling for not being hurt by my own act. I think, I'm kind an annoying person when I'm with them. Sometimes, when I talk, the word that out of my mouth making them feel I'm annoying. I don't know how to keep it. When zipped my mouth, they will ask me if I've problems. I don't how keep my relationship with the other for them being happy and me also happy with them.

Honestly, I love you all my friends.

I Love You


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